Highlights of a Weekend
To address Tom’s disclaimer from September 28, I shall use my old stand-by excuse: I am a lazy bum. I'd love to say I was hiking Everest or appearing as a guest on Oprah, but I wasn't. But, to my credit, I HAVE been writing. Unfortunately I have somehow been imagining that you all have read my journal entries, only to realize that they were not posted on here yet. I would normally just post-date the entry so that it would blend seamlessly with the others, but I can’t because then Tom’s disclaimer wouldn’t make sense and he’d sound like an ass. Speaking of which, at least I don’t use the word “poo-pooing” in my journal entry.
9/26/05:
Some of the highlights of this past weekend:
1. I cried at an infomercial.
That’s right, actual tears streaming down my face. It could have been a physical manifestation because I missed Dan, who went away for the weekend. I also woke up in the middle of the night and thought I saw a little alien aircraft in my bedroom. However, despite these signs, I still don’t believe I’m crazy.
2. My dad and I pissed off a shammy salesman.
Yes, there are shammy salesmen and yes, they are pretty defensive about their shammies. He even ended up taking off his microphone so he could yell at us. It all started with the innocent remark, “I don’t think shammies are worth twenty dollars.” Note that as something never to say to a shammy salesmen at a fair.
3. Dan’s laptop was stolen from his car as it sat in our driveway.
Police recovered it a few houses down after a woman found it in her driveway. Police turned it on and contacted the original owner, who then contacted Dan. I’m not sure if the police played a few rounds of solitaire or looked for kiddie porn, but that’s what I picture.
What I’ve learned this weekend:
Never underestimate the power of people who lost 114 pounds in 9 months.
You CAN eat all you want and still lose weight.
Shammy salesmen at fairs sell 7,000 units a day. [I question the accuracy of this “fact” since it came from the shammy salesman, not from Time or Newsday.]
You shouldn’t forget to check jacket pockets when washing laundry. Lip gloss gets all over and although “Cutie” works with many outfits, does not go with everything.
Chili needs to cook at least 2 hours to thicken.
There’s at least one other weirdo in my neighborhood besides myself.
9/26/05:
Some of the highlights of this past weekend:
1. I cried at an infomercial.
That’s right, actual tears streaming down my face. It could have been a physical manifestation because I missed Dan, who went away for the weekend. I also woke up in the middle of the night and thought I saw a little alien aircraft in my bedroom. However, despite these signs, I still don’t believe I’m crazy.
2. My dad and I pissed off a shammy salesman.
Yes, there are shammy salesmen and yes, they are pretty defensive about their shammies. He even ended up taking off his microphone so he could yell at us. It all started with the innocent remark, “I don’t think shammies are worth twenty dollars.” Note that as something never to say to a shammy salesmen at a fair.
3. Dan’s laptop was stolen from his car as it sat in our driveway.
Police recovered it a few houses down after a woman found it in her driveway. Police turned it on and contacted the original owner, who then contacted Dan. I’m not sure if the police played a few rounds of solitaire or looked for kiddie porn, but that’s what I picture.
What I’ve learned this weekend:
Never underestimate the power of people who lost 114 pounds in 9 months.
You CAN eat all you want and still lose weight.
Shammy salesmen at fairs sell 7,000 units a day. [I question the accuracy of this “fact” since it came from the shammy salesman, not from Time or Newsday.]
You shouldn’t forget to check jacket pockets when washing laundry. Lip gloss gets all over and although “Cutie” works with many outfits, does not go with everything.
Chili needs to cook at least 2 hours to thicken.
There’s at least one other weirdo in my neighborhood besides myself.
posted by Kel | 12:57 PM
2 Comments:
Shammy, It's just a pleasanly funny word.
Yeah, I think it's actually chamois, but I prefer SHAMMY.
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